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10 things i’m happy about

30 March 2011 1 comment

I want to write through ‘10 Things…’ for a bit. It’s my journal exercise right now focused on attending to the small moments. Today I thought about 10 things I’m happy about, to express more than fleeting gratitude for successes that happen on the fly.

Sometimes life moves so fast until you can run right over the small important moments—without even drawing out all the inspiration.

impetus for 10 things i’m happy about

Lately, I’ve had a lot to do and not a lot of time. I’d tick off a task, maybe smile about it if it was new or particularly difficult, and move to the next thing—which is a good thing. But, appreciating the small accomplishments helps in two ways:

  1. It reinforces you’re on the right track which can carry me forward from one project, one milestone, one task to the next
  2. It requires that you slow down to reflect, and assess, and doesn’t that help with clarity—no wallowing or fixating involved

So today, I decided to reflect on things my little successes that kept me moving forward. Some were so fleeting until I almost forgot them.  Some were realizations I made.

All that to say, these are my recent 10 things I’m happy about:

  1. Manually fixed my blog I broke (and fast too—sort of)
  2. Prepared my CSS print file for article pages
  3. Learned that my websites actually are helping me
  4. Worked out best Sony Vegas settings to render clear screen capture videos
  5. Deleted arcane drafts from blogs, stored them out of the way
  6. Singing out loud (gotta be alone for that) can still make me feel better
  7. Felt the deep sense of release that comes with hearty laughter
  8. Accepted that I need more sleep (now to make it happen)
  9. Trusted, in a difficult moment, that trying times are impermanent
  10. Studying the construct of my faith, I find I still have it

Gratitude is the order of every day, for success or failure and what I learn from each. Think about the things you’re happy about, and slow down a moment to appreciate them. And let them propel you forward.

Up next in my ’10 things…’ mini series, “10 things i’d like to learn”

Just Writing Through , ,

fight the power no more

13 February 2011 2 comments

It became clear to me recently that I cannot fully separate myself from my Fear. It was likely always clear, only now I’m accepting it too. My stifling companion on my life journey. Fear. Champion excuse maker for not writing or not [WHATEVER GOES HERE].

lots to say but i can’t

The glaring truth, (that forced me to accept it), is that when I don’t write it’s not because I have nothing to say. In fact, I have lots to say; and it seems like even more is present during my can’t write times. At any given moment, there are a plethora of ideas, machinations that spark ideas, sprung up from reading, listening, watching, thinking, doing, imagining. A staggering amount of fodder for any writing purposes that engage me. And from what I’ve read on She Writes and around the web, I’m not alone in this oxymoronic predicament.

My hesitation is not simply a matter of being unable to pick what I want to write about or to do, either. My hesitation to pluck out an idea and act on it is spawned from doubt morphed into Fear: of rejection, of acceptance, of failure, of success. It’s a whirling, swirling mass of gases, liquids and some solids that knock around in my skull rather painfully at times. And, try as I might to dispel the Fear, it stands its ground. Sometimes I think I’ve gotten it all gone from my life, from whatever work I’m doing. Shortly into the calm, I learn respite is not release. I learn Fear only laid dormant, waiting for the quietest, busiest time to step up and make some damned noise about why I shouldn’t do whatever is on my mind to do.

fear and muse

Fear is not totally my enemy, though. I know this. Fear, dressed as caution, can keep me from making a huge fool of myself. And isn’t minimizing foolishness a good thing? Sometimes? I’ve been thinking about this, trying to focus on appreciating the good that is inherent in proper Fear. And it came to me…

Operating from the baseline truth, that Fear is valuable, I have a new game plan. We won’t fight. It’s not reverse psychology or flat out running away. I’m simply standing my ground, squaring off with my scary adversary using love power, to make Fear my bitch. This year I’m embracing my Fear. Making it another hero, the antithetical protagonist to my moody Muse. I’m pitting them against each other and filling my pen with the blood they draw.

I see interesting times ahead, and I’m taking notes.

Such is the shape of things today. And I’m going with it. What do you do to capitalize on dispositional changes in your life?

Creativity ,

my weekend in never-never land

2 February 2011 No comments

One great morning last month, my brother called to invite me to babysit my niece and nephew. Quickly, I switched gears and rushed my activities Friday morning because it’s important to have a little fun. Morning was for work search. I had to skip tweeting for the most part, and instant messaging with my friends and family.

Unfortunately for me, I had an excruciating, nauseating migraine headache. You know the ones that wring the life out of you, when you’re forced to close your eyes, and clenching your teeth hurts? That’s what I was having.

After meds and an hour-long nap, I felt much better. I woke in time to get a few things done before I had to leave. I was just finishing up when my brother and niece came to pick me up. And it was on.

continue reading…

Creativity , , ,

getting concrete about blog practices

11 January 2011 No comments

off to a rocky start

Last night, my computer was still quite wonky. I decided to reboot the modem since I’d done the virus scanning and defragging. But I had to wait until today because my eyelids were too heavy to press through the short steps. This morning, things were still bad online, so I called in and the recording said the same thing I thought they would, Try disconnecting the modem and the other related steps before I connect you with a human being. I knew that so I can’t tell you why I called first. It might be related to another issue of not trusting what I think I know—a separate issue.

Anyway, I did the technical stuff, it worked and I didn’t have to call back because the recording wasn’t expecting me to, unless I needed assistance. With my IT concerns squared away, I was able to get on with surfing the web reading and networking.

continue reading…

Journal , , ,

with a heavy heart

9 January 2011 No comments

My heart is heavy today. My view of some of my countrymen diminished. My hopes for my people strained. Words matter. Words are heavy with power and we can sling them effortlessly flinging our fury out into the world for any to hear, draw from, interpret. And when these words inspire actions deemed horrific and cause children to die, we defend and justify.

  • The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.
  • I didn’t do anything. I just said…
  • It’s not my fault if he went and acted on what I said.
  • That’s not what I meant at all.
  • It was never my intention to…

Remember The Ghostbusters and the slime under the city? The airwaves, radio, television, internet, have been infested by a virtual River of Slime. It is composed of rampant hatred, intolerance, violence, ignorance, half-truths, all the homicidal ideation, messages of malicious malcontent, the slings and arrows from sad and empty vessels whose walls are lined with mean-spiritedness.

Young people are left to their own devices to sift through this mess of mixed messages to love thy neighbor—except in the instances of… If you don’t agree with someone, harass terrorize discriminate mistreat and ostracize until you change them or silence them, by any means necessary. The problem we’re faced with today is that we have many citizens without the tools to properly sift through the mess of rhetoric to adequately assess and distinguish fodder from fallacy.

continue reading…

Just Writing Through ,

holidays under the weather

26 December 2010 No comments

So, Christmas day is put to rest well. I have fond memories of fun times with my family and good visits with friends and family on Facebook. It was fun watching the children play, and watching the family interact with the kids. The food, as always, was great: the turkey, honey-baked ham, spinach and artichoke dip, baked macaroni and cheese, selections of oyster and plain dressing. The fruit punch was a taste sensation, with bubbles and everything that tickled my tongue.

Engaging conversations with adults and children was another highlight. The kids are so bright, so funny, they entertain me with their innocent wit. Their joyful charm shook their entire bodies. The sister and brother, two years apart, are partners in mischief and merriment that makes my heart glad to watch. It was a pleasure to be present with everyone.

The fact that my throat was still a little achy was not a big deal. I didn’t have to talk much to engage, to participate with my family. So I didn’t, managing enough to converse and say thanks for everything, with a little extra in between.

continue reading…

Journal ,
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