I was in a random restaurant and asked about WiFi. Server said they had it but she thought I’d need a password—which she didn’t have. Standing in line, I turned on my NOOK and connected. It didn’t occur to me to not try after she told me about the password. That is rarely necessary in a public place.

bridging the technology divide

After I downloaded what I wanted, got my food and sat down with my mom, I went back to the counter. I told her I got on, didn’t need a password. She said, “Really?” I said, “Yeah, unless it’s not your signal I’m using,” and watched her expression briefly as she tried to parse the exchange, before I returned to my seat.

what perplexed me

It wasn’t that she didn’t know. The problem I have is that she is a young person who had no clear knowledge of what her place of employment offered the customers. Soon as I walked in and saw the coffee shop tables in one area, I had an idea. And that’s why I asked.

My next contemplations were about finding a way to insure that employees knew what they had to offer clients. What they could take advantage of at their places of employment. These little things are selling points — no small matter in the business world. If it were my business, I would want my people to know about my free WiFi, just like they know the drinks and how to prepare the food and run the cash register.

it’s just good business

It’s not the first time I’ve encountered such apathy from this restaurant, different location albeit. I hope it’s not an anomaly of the chain, only a small few locations. In business you never want to overlook the easy selling points. If I invest in anything for my customers, I want workers to know about it when someone asks about it.

Don’t you want to maximize the benefit from your offerings to your clients? Would you put up signs? Or, just make sure that your first line employees had accurate, detailed answers for the easy questions?

You ever have times when you’re really hot to write something? You run to the page and write feverishly til you covered every thought that brought you to the page and a few that arrived after you got going. All this only to find that the passion has dissipated.

second guessing and affirming my ideas

You may not know what I’m talking about, but it happens to me from time to time. It’s not about journaling. It’s about the impact of the words I’ve written. I start wondering, Will anyone be interested? Be able to relate? Will anyone care or be entertained?

I remind myself that there may be someone, some one person who would really like to know what my take is. Someone who will greatly benefit from putting up my ideas alongside his. And on some really good days, he or she may tell me how I was wrong or right about something.

just do it

Ultimately, I have to just do it if I ever want to click the PUBLISH button. So, I suck it up and revise and edit my writing. When I’m satisfied I’ve presented my ideas as fully as I want to, I just let it go. It’s been a while since I clicked the PUBLISH button here. And, I have all these snippets of ideas running around in my head. So the time has come for me to trust that I am talking to somebody out there when I say and show, JUST DO IT.

Letting my ideas flow is the whole reason behind keeping a journal, paper or electronic. Blogging is the perfect place to write just in case someone wants or needs to hear what I have to say. In sharing here, and on my other sites, I invite you to share your thoughts. Write to me and tell me what’s your take.

why do it? 5 reasons

1. It’s good to get things off my chest as writing can be a great contemplative release
2. It might help someone if I offer a perspective they’d not considered
3. It might make me a new friend bonding over common ground or beneficial disagreement
4. It might make me a new enemy – not a great thing just good to know
5. It’s important to click that PUBLISH button when I have a chance

I’m curious! Do you doubt your ideas? How do you get passed the voice that tells you maybe you shouldn’t do a thing? What’s your incentive for pressing on?

In my AA (Administrative Assistant) job, I have to keep the books. We use QuickBooks to record financial business. At home, I use Quicken.

learning new software

I am working on learning the ins and outs of Quicken, (my graduation from spreadsheets), and now I have to work on learning QuickBooks too. At work they’re planning a training session for us to learn more about QuickBooks. At home, I’m on my own, which is fine.

Usually I click around to learn new software, it’s part of the fun for me. But, I’m in a bit of a hurry now. I need the key information, not extra stuff right now.

I bought 2 books for bookkeeping and Quicken. In reviewing the Quicken book, I found I’m going to have to sift through a lot of ‘related’ material. There’s a lot of aside information that is too far afield to be called theory. Along with getting what I need, a manual for the application, this book seems to try to incorporate bookkeeping and accounting training. And, it is infused throughout the book. So, I expect big fun trying to get around/through all that.

writing the book review

Once I’ve read through enough, (I just got the Quicken book today), I’ll make my determination on whether or not I’ll recommend the book. I was actually surprised by how much extra stuff was in the book. What I was looking for was a dedicated software book. Interestingly this book is the closest I’ve come and it doesn’t cover my particular version of the software.

Once I’m done scanning/using the book, I may write a detailed review of what I got out of the book. I see that I’ll have to sift through the distracting stuff. But it looks like the book will show me some things I haven’t figured out yet. It may turn out that the book is perfect the way it is…I’ll let you know.

Are you learning anything new? Do you take a class or buy a book first thing? Or is structured learning your last resort?

I’ve had 2 jobs for the past 3 1/2 months. It’s been really interesting and fulfilling and hectic. Rewarding and testing.

For far too long, I was under- and unemployed. When I moved back to my hometown, New Orleans, Louisiana, all I wanted to do was work. I searched, applied, asked, and talked to people. Before I knew it, I had almost 3 jobs. I got the first one, an afternoon job that was for 2 hours, 4 days a week (no Mondays) working with Second Graders.

Six weeks later I got the second job, it was in the day time: 6 hours Monday through Thursday, 3 hours Fridays. I was so grateful until I decided to do them both and was considering a 3rd job which fell through, thankfully.

The two I got fit together but then they really didn’t. Both were demanding and a pleasure. But there were times when they clashed. If things ran over in my day job, then I would likely be late or close to it for my afternoon job. You see, there was only a 30 minute window between the 2 jobs which allowed for travel time. A surprise event would eat that travel time quickly and leave me no room to do any preliminary things.

Once or twice it even made me a few minutes late. I couldn’t have that for myself. And my boss and the children (it was an after-school tutoring program) deserved better.

looking at all sides

I tried to tough it out. All I wanted was to work to make up for all the time I didn’t work. Here’s the thing though. I am tough. And dedicated. Once I understood that it wasn’t about me alone, but what was best for all involved, the choice came clear.

I didn’t want to be forced to run out of my day job leaving unexpected things for the next day, in order to be on time for my evening job. And, as I said, I didn’t want to have to run late or be absent for the evening job because of my day job (Administrative Assistant).

I opted to stay with the day job that was closer to full time, provided me with autonomy (once I learn all the nuances), and made no demands on my time or finances outside of the job. Teaching is not that kind of animal, even in only the after-school sessions.

how i chose

I took the selfish route. I wanted to be on time every evening for the afternoon program but it wasn’t a guarantee that I could. I wanted to be free once I got home, to do other things I was interested in, like my volunteer work for my church, book studies, website development, learning software applications. That was difficult to do with the demands I placed on myself for classroom preparations.

My choice was to pick the one that I could focus on with minimal hesitation. This was the formula because both are rewarding and autonomous positions. I didn’t want to give up either, but since I had to, I opted for the free evenings and relative quiet of working in an office setting.

I’m sure I made the right decision for myself at this juncture in my life. I have no problem with working 2 jobs. But I firmly believe that my second job should be online and from home, to minimize the wear and tear on me.

So, did I make the right choice? When did you last give up on something in the name of self-preservation? Did it bear out that you made the right choice?

I won’t really feel my decision until after the holidays, when everything is back in full swing — and I get to go home at 3:00 p.m. It will be a bit before I really feel the absence of 2nd Graders asking questions, working studiously and trying to have their way. I may need to visit them.

It’s been a long time since I let myself off the hook so early for NaNoWriMo. But this year, at the last minute, I made up my mind to let it go before I even got started.

It’s not that it’s not fun. I still enjoy challenging myself. This year, though, is a little different because I know that I don’t have the time to put into it. And I have no interest in hurting myself to make it happen.

1. I have a lot to learn on my day job. I will allow that to distract me at home, in the form of reviewing my day’s activities.
2. There is new software I want to master on my afternoon job also. I only give myself the month of December to start and master it for proficient use in January.
3. Planning for the children (afternoon gig) is a time-consuming pleasure.
4. Extra jobs will take my free time so that I can get ahead with the software purchases I need to make in the near future.
5. My volunteer obligations take up a lot of time and that is fine for now, as I get them in order.
6. Family and friends are in the front of my thoughts right now; there are things I want to do for and with them and that is a juggling act.
7. The new story will keep until I get to it. In the meantime, I am making notes as things hit me.
8. I have two stories that I want to finish (didn’t get to them) and they are fresh and clear in my head — except for the endings.
9. While I’m not writing a poem a day, I will be posting more of what I’ve written because that’s where my heart beats.
10. For the first time, I am perfectly content to not try to push for this — maybe next year

These are the things I gave myself to as I tried to decide whether or not to participate in NaNoWriMo. I read my journal and saw that I was focused on everything but my outline for the story, even though I did throw one together. And, although I wrote it last, I think the biggest thing to seal my decision is the fact that I am content in my spirit with the choice I have made.

I call this a list of excuses because they’re not enough to keep me from participating in NaNo this year. If I wanted to push myself to at least try, I could. I could add to my sleepless evenings and jam-packed weekends, put off friends and family, missing events. I could curb the volunteering. And this is my time of self-indulgent behavior.

It’s been a long time since I felt relaxed enough to spend my time writing on my personal projects. I’m reading for me with minimal distraction, as testing for my 2nd grade class is done. Grades are recorded. So for a little while, my weekends and evenings are part my own.

I say part my own because there will be times (like today) when I will spend a few hours on organizing work for the students, visiting the library, recording last grades. And, my church and family responsibilities have a portion of my time. The balance is my free time, to spend wildly if I choose.

My Big Plans. There is my short story I’m writing which I’m working to finish; a non-fiction book a friend wrote that I’ll finish reading tonight; and more to read in my book study book (Kingdom without Borders) that I will be reading from, shortly.

organization skills put to the test

Monday I start my second job, my day job. It will take up the bulk of my days leaving me only travel time to get to my afternoon job. I’m compelled to be very organized, certainly more than I have been lately. It will be a welcome challenge, as I look forward to applying my skills to getting everything done.

Things seem to be well in hand for work with the children. But the work of fun is another story. For a few months now I’ve been writing successfully using yWriter software. I’ve managed to nearly finish two stories — they’ll likely be done the end of this month. Reading is manageable in bursts most often. But I set aside time daily now to read a little. So, it’s all coming together.

nanowrimo – am i in or no?

Even with my fine organizational skills, the cool software, and a story idea in the wings, I’m not sure it will be enough to get through NaNoWriMo. I’ve tried a few times, but never seem to get through before I let the rest of my life take over. Prior to November, I get all excited and pumped up with anticipation only to fizzle out in the middle (or even earlier).

This year, I likely won’t commit until the last week of October. And that’s really okay since I’m fleshing out a story plot in a grid (I read about that practice somewhere and I like it). Once the plot written and saved, I can use it whenever — next month or next year.

If I participate in NaNoWriMo this November, I’ll likely keep my progress updated at Shari’s Telling Stories. You can visit me there, to see my progress – or lack of. Either way, I’ll be reading around the web to see all the writer camaraderie.

Are you writing a novel this year for NaNoWriMo? Do you know about National Novel Writing Month? Find out about the project here, http://www.nanowrimo.org/, then decide if you want to put your writing acumen to the challenge of 50K words in 30 days.

It’s easy to inspire me! Mostly because I’m always open to having my socks knocked off me. Television, shows and commercials; movies with great story lines. The Internet that puts so much at my fingertips—literally.

1. people pursuing passions

I’m connected with two networks related to writing and arts. It is really inspiring to see writers pursuing their passions. I read liner notes in albums for the gems they sometimes hold about the album artist. One of my Nina Simone albums had her story in it. I was as sad to lose that as I was about some of the books I lost in the wake of post Katrina and Rita clean-up.

2. the brilliance of children

It’s not about how smart they may be. What moves me is the luminous shimmer the new people exude. It’s the glow of promise, hope for our future, and the endless possibilities of how we might get there.

3. possibility

I wonder how it is some of us never lose the inner child, or manage to find a measure of it. However it happens, I’m grateful that it’s possible.

I could almost weep for the life I might have known had I kept hold of the child in me; or found her sooner. I won’t cry though. I have more of her in me than I once thought. Instead, I take joy even at this advanced hour. After all, it really is all good— Besides, I’m not dead yet.

inspirations all around

4. dancing

When I watch people dance, it makes me happy, excited. It’s a pleasure to watch dancer’s move in ways that I could never. I would love to dance, but I haven’t the aptitude (really haven’t the aptitude), and I haven’t the body with a bad hip. I am humbled by the works that dancers do. Gregory Hines and Savion Glover can make my heart race. I never had the opportunity to see Gregory Hines dance live. And I’m sure if I had, there would have been tears. I believe that because the liturgical dancers at my church can move me that much.

5. photography

Composition can be poetic. I have lost myself in a great cloud scene or the soulful eyes of an elderly man helped to deposit his first ballot after Apartheid. A beautiful flower or a solitary bird in his solitude. Images can open my mind to more than what is before me. They are my conduits to alternate interpretations the image itself and life all around me. Being open to, and a practitioner of silliness, facilitates this laudable transcending ability.

6. music

I love to listen to great rhythms, beats that get make my heart pound, melodies that open my mind. Jazz is in my library. Some of my favorites I return to repeatedly include Lyle Mays, Fictionary; Joe Sample, Ashes to Ashes; Spyro Gyra, Love and Other Obsessions; and Hubert Laws, My Time will Come; and Ellis Marsallis, Whistle Stop are a few that keep me and serve to transport me.

7. writing

During work writing, my focus is on the message and the best way to get it across to the client’s audience. Even when I’m totally engaged, there are times errant creative ideas will come to me. If it’s timely I may even be able to spare a moment to capture an idea on paper or recorder to have it for later use.

8. poetry

It amazes me what people are able to create in poetic expression. The canvas is paper, the inks the colors of experiences, the deft poet paints the picture of what happens to, around, through him. There is room in his writing for me and my experiences and what I bring to the table. I’m inspired by the ability of a poet to tell a poignant story of a thing he knows, and how I am opened to so much more just by reading it.

9. generosity of others

There is so much I can’t do for myself sometimes. It frustrates me when self-reliance is simply not an option. I’m learning to give in to help from others. It’s humbling and empowering and amazing to be able to receive help and understand that it is not diminishing me but just a hand.

There’s something to be said for the grand gestures of kindness and humanity around the world, the ones that make the news and 60 Minutes. But the kindness of a friend to a friend is as large if it is unknown to many.

10. nature, trees

I love trees. I can’t name them I’m sorry to say, but I have a profound respect for the majesty of trees. Big and small, many or just one. I can get caught up just watching a tree, tracing the grooves and cracks with my eyes and hands; leaning against a tree, feeling it’s solidness support my back. I could go on, but you get the picture.

This list is by no means exhaustive since I spend a lot of time enjoying the little things in life. Many things inspire me. I was the child that would be caught staring out the window in school; the one who could lie on the ground for long periods of time, to watch ants go about their business. Today play is still important to me, as well as spending time with trees, even though I don’t have as much time for them. These things inspire me to do more, some days even just to continue.

What inspires you in your life? Remember that inspiration is everywhere; you can receive it from all sources, as long as you remain open to it.

I’m excited this week! I have no time to be writing, but there is little else I can do before I move. So, I write.

software: yWriter

Once when I was planning to write for NANOWRMO, I searched for different things that people were doing to make the writing task easily. I came across yWriter. It got my attention enough for me to download it. That was a few years ago.

working out the setup

In the first week of July, I opened yWriter because I wanted to try something different as my latest story was getting longer. I found that the application is not nearly as simple as using WordPerfect (my default app) or Word. I actually had to go to the online manual to get started right. It was thrilling!

The quick start guide gave me enough information to learn how to set up chapters and scenes. (I don’t know how to delete chapters, but I’ll figure that out too.)

First, I set up the skeleton for my novel, the chapters and scenes. It was really easy once I knew what to look for. Then I uploaded my story, 7,272 words, chapter by chapter into yWriter. That was July 4th, fitting since it allowed me to declare my independence from the bulky use of word processing for novels.

what i learned about yWriter

• It can read my writing back to me
• It has a publishing function that will format the text for reading online
• Timeline view lets you see your story as notes, like sticky notes
• Drag and drop works in the timeline view
• I can’t delete chapters yet
• It offers many ways to notate my story for ideas that pop up

rolling along

Today I have 28,570 and the only reason I slowed up was because I had a move in the midst of everything.

Ideas are coming and I focus on how to get it said, not the mechanics. And an interesting thing is happening.

I’m dreaming of my characters’ stories. The story’s in my system. Two weeks ago, after writing the ending until after 05:00, the backstory for one character came to me before 08:00. It was too soon to put my contacts back in. So, I wrote it on my legal pad, two pages front and back.

Last night, I did a quick read-through (I know I shouldn’t have). I was amazed at how much the backstory tied things together. Things I hadn’t thought consciously of, but were burned into my brain from the story. It’s actually fun.

peace of mind

I have no worries about how I will move my content around if need be, just like the yWriter developer says. I just focus on the writing, knowing the revising will be infinitely easier.

Word processors make writing very easy when compared with typewriters. But, when it comes to larger documents, it can be fairly cumbersome. When I am writing, I don’t feel the need to change order a lot but it does happen. yWriter has some excellent tools to make moving content really easy. One is a drag and drop capacity for scenes between chapters.

The other I’ve found so far is the storyboard tool. It looks like notes on lines. And I can slide these boxes to different chapters and different characters for POV.

about the story

This story I’m discussing is my first fan fiction. I’m hoping to submit it to The Chamber, the fan fiction site I blogged about it on Telling Stories.

It’s the first long story, novella length now, that I can actually see myself finishing. Part of that does have to do with not having to worry with the mechanics either during or after, since yWriter automates so much.

about the title

I got the quote from “Roxanne” 1987. After successfully fighting their first real fire, the character, Andy (played by Michael J. Pollard), made the proclamation. It’s my proclamation since I’ve actually satisfactorily advanced on my story and can see an end to it — for the first time.

I’m happy with this application but I will keep my eyes out for other writing tools. I may try a paid one, to see what I might be missing. Please share any suggestions you may have for tools you like or have heard about.

I’ve been thinking about this post for a little while. I’ve come up with a mix of things I want to know better and things new to me. What stalled me is that I had a revelation: I have been fortunate to be able to pursue many of the things that interest me.

Here’s the thing though, I learn many of the things I use, enough to get the job done. Really though, that’s not enough for me. I’d prefer to get more detailed about the things I use already. You know, nothing like knowing a little theory to be able to work my way out of a corner.

Anyway, following is what my list looks like today.

10 things i’d like to learn and know better

1. PHP: I use it for includes on my static websites. However, I want to harness more of the language’s power to get the most out of it
2. MySQL: Same as with PHP. Database software is really powerful and a very versatile tool to catalog data such as articles, images, audio and so very much more. I would like to learn enough to be able to troubleshoot background glitches when database stuff goes wrong
3. Forms validation: The code geek in me just wants to know the mechanics of effective forms validation skills
4. Video editing: I have edited a few things with my Sony Vegas software. There’s a lot more power that I haven’t used yet.
5. Simple animation: Cartoons are really cool and making my own would be a lot of fun. I think it would be really cool to animate some of my creative writing stories.
6. Play the guitar: I’ve iffed at it a few times. I didn’t get far either time, but I think I’d do better now because…just because.
7. Paint and draw: I can scrawl just as good as the next 10-year-old. I just want to do more. It’s more a matter of practicing so that I can make things come out of my hand that walk through my imagination.
8. Sew my own clothes: When I was a very young, maybe in grade school, my paternal grandmother showed me how to cut a pattern for a shirt and a denim jumper, to line the cuffs and cover buttons with material like the shirt. Mostly what I remember about that was the great feelings I had. The times we spent laying out, cutting and pinning patterns is part of the blurs of childhood memories that remind me of the warm carefree times.
9. Make paper: I read an article on making paper at home and it was really interesting. One day, I would like to try it out. Since I’m always writing on stuff, I think it would be pretty cool to make my own
10. Glass blowing: I’ve only seen it on television and it’s amazing to watch. When I watched it, I thought about the molecules, fluid, hot, that can be pushed, blown, stretched, and shaped. Then cooled into a solid that can’t bend only break. There’s something really moving about that.

Not quite a bucket list, but these subjects are things that keep me busy learning. The first 5 are to help me in the work I do. The last 5 are on my list to entertain me. In life there must be a balance, so this actually worked out better than I’d planned.

Confession: My balance is skewed towards pleasure. All the things on my list are things I really enjoy. I can (and often do) get lost in working at my computer.

What’s on your list of things to learn or know better?

Up next: 10 things that inspire me.

I want to write through ‘10 Things…’ for a bit. It’s my journal exercise right now focused on attending to the small moments. Today I thought about 10 things I’m happy about, to express more than fleeting gratitude for successes that happen on the fly.

Sometimes life moves so fast until you can run right over the small important moments—without even drawing out all the inspiration.

impetus for 10 things i’m happy about

Lately, I’ve had a lot to do and not a lot of time. I’d tick off a task, maybe smile about it if it was new or particularly difficult, and move to the next thing—which is a good thing. But, appreciating the small accomplishments helps in two ways:

1. It reinforces you’re on the right track which can carry me forward from one project, one milestone, one task to the next
2. It requires that you slow down to reflect, and assess, and doesn’t that help with clarity—no wallowing or fixating involved

So today, I decided to reflect on things my little successes that kept me moving forward. Some were so fleeting until I almost forgot them.  Some were realizations I made.

All that to say, these are my recent 10 things I’m happy about:

1. Manually fixed my blog I broke (and fast too—sort of)
2. Prepared my CSS print file for article pages
3. Learned that my websites actually are helping me
4. Worked out best Sony Vegas settings to render clear screen capture videos
5. Deleted arcane drafts from blogs, stored them out of the way
6. Singing out loud (gotta be alone for that) can still make me feel better
7. Felt the deep sense of release that comes with hearty laughter
8. Accepted that I need more sleep (now to make it happen)
9. Trusted, in a difficult moment, that trying times are impermanent
10. Studying the construct of my faith, I find I still have it

Gratitude is the order of every day, for success or failure and what I learn from each. Think about the things you’re happy about, and slow down a moment to appreciate them. And let them propel you forward.

Up next in my ’10 things…’ mini series, “10 things i’d like to learn”

It became clear to me recently that I cannot fully separate myself from my Fear. It was likely always clear, only now I’m accepting it too. My stifling companion on my life journey. Fear. Champion excuse maker for not writing or not [WHATEVER GOES HERE].

lots to say but i can’t

The glaring truth, (that forced me to accept it), is that when I don’t write it’s not because I have nothing to say. In fact, I have lots to say; and it seems like even more is present during my can’t write times. At any given moment, there are a plethora of ideas, machinations that spark ideas, sprung up from reading, listening, watching, thinking, doing, imagining. A staggering amount of fodder for any writing purposes that engage me. And from what I’ve read on She Writes and around the web, I’m not alone in this oxymoronic predicament.

My hesitation is not simply a matter of being unable to pick what I want to write about or to do, either. My hesitation to pluck out an idea and act on it is spawned from doubt morphed into Fear: of rejection, of acceptance, of failure, of success. It’s a whirling, swirling mass of gases, liquids and some solids that knock around in my skull rather painfully at times. And, try as I might to dispel the Fear, it stands its ground. Sometimes I think I’ve gotten it all gone from my life, from whatever work I’m doing. Shortly into the calm, I learn respite is not release. I learn Fear only laid dormant, waiting for the quietest, busiest time to step up and make some damned noise about why I shouldn’t do whatever is on my mind to do.

fear and muse

Fear is not totally my enemy, though. I know this. Fear, dressed as caution, can keep me from making a huge fool of myself. And isn’t minimizing foolishness a good thing? Sometimes? I’ve been thinking about this, trying to focus on appreciating the good that is inherent in proper Fear. And it came to me…

Operating from the baseline truth, that Fear is valuable, I have a new game plan. We won’t fight. It’s not reverse psychology or flat out running away. I’m simply standing my ground, squaring off with my scary adversary using love power, to make Fear my bitch. This year I’m embracing my Fear. Making it another hero, the antithetical protagonist to my moody Muse. I’m pitting them against each other and filling my pen with the blood they draw.

I see interesting times ahead, and I’m taking notes.

Such is the shape of things today. And I’m going with it. What do you do to capitalize on dispositional changes in your life?

One great morning last month, my brother called to invite me to babysit my niece and nephew. Quickly, I switched gears and rushed my activities Friday morning because it’s important to have a little fun. Morning was for work search. I had to skip tweeting for the most part, and instant messaging with my friends and family.

Unfortunately for me, I had an excruciating, nauseating migraine headache. You know the ones that wring the life out of you, when you’re forced to close your eyes, and clenching your teeth hurts? That’s what I was having.

After meds and an hour-long nap, I felt much better. I woke in time to get a few things done before I had to leave. I was just finishing up when my brother and niece came to pick me up. And it was on.

my charges catch fire

My niece (4 years old), who usually starts out slowly, was ready to talk when she walked in the door. I hadn’t seem them since last year, Christmas day, and the girl was making up for it. She had questions to get updates and lots of other things to tell me. She modeled her new versatile mittens that let her free her fingers.

When we got to the house, I had to see her TV and help her with the DVD. Later, after my nephew (7 years old) got home from school, he joined in the conversation and activities. We chatted about his good day at school. He showed me the good note he got. He went to get his evening snack. Then we spent some time apart while they watched a movie.

Before I knew it, quiet time had ended. And they were on me. It was energized to say the least. They were different than the last time we spent time together. They were unified, polarized and driven to accomplish their self-appointed tasks to run me through the mill. I’m thankful, though, that mostly they’re good-natured and funny.

inventive young minds

It’s always amazing to watch, listen, and interact with these little people. They just barely got here and have assimilated so very much in the way of communication. They make old things new and reflect them through their own personalities. They are bright, funny, manipulative, sensitive, caring, morose, quick, heartless, and so much more. They are full of the roiling contradicting character aspects that we all have, and these kids just roll with it.

random scenes from the evening

1.

Aunt (to the girl): Go put the light on so you can see better.

Girl (to aunt without looking up from drawing): I don’t think that will be necessary.

Aunt says nothing—as, nothing useful comes to mind.

2.

Aunt (to the girl): You are such a joy! When I go home, I’m going to make a [name] doll so that I don’t have to miss you so much. [The girl watched the aunt intently, thought about what she said.]

Girl: What are you going to make it with?

Aunt: I need to make it out of something soft to remind me of you.

Girl: You can use one of my blankets.

Boy (entering the play area): What about a [name] doll?

Aunt: Most definitely I have to have a [name] doll too.

3.

Aunt (to the boy talking incessantly): Please just stop talking for a little while!

She makes no mention about the toys that need to ride up and down the aunt’s arms, shoulder, neck, legs, head. Just a plea for quiet to hear a TV show. The boy is quiet for only a moment and he resumes the scenario playing out in his head.

Aunt (wanting very much to hear this next part): Nephew, please give me a break! Please!

Boy (has a Power Ranger action figure walking the aunt’s arm down to her hand. The action figure’s foot gets caught on the aunt’s ring. The aunt tunes in to hear the boy say in a mock serious voice, a bit deeper than normal): What is this piece of metal on her finger? Must…get…it…off! [The aunt resists laughing, only smiles.]

After wading through that, the boy is off to get another toy. He returns to the aunt’s side with his Toy Story Woody doll. He pretends that he and the doll are whispering to each other with intermittent breaks to talk to the aunt.

Aunt: Nephew, please stop talking to me! Just for a little while.

Boy (to Woody doll): What’s that? What did you say?

Boy (to aunt): Auntie Shari, Woody said…

Aunt: I don’t want to hear what Woody has to say either!

Boy (won’t be put off): Woody said he wants to shoot you so bad.

That just breaks them up. Aunt and nephew sit together laughing their butts off.

what i took from this

There are likely opinionated moral majority people cringing at me finding humor in that last scenario. To you I say Pooh! Oh, and Quinten Tarrentino. Besides, think about the last time you laughed at slapstick, or sat riveted in front of a horror movie. Then come back to this.

His parents want him to be himself, within reason. They work with him to be good boy, to think and to choose right actions over wrong. And he know’s he’s funny. He was laughing before he could get the words out. He had to start over. These children are having a great time being children. They think, imagine, and let their lives happen. Sometimes it may lead to punishment. But, that’s part of the learning process.

Mostly, they’re just having fun. At one point, they tried to incite me to chase after them. They ran as though it worked even though I didn’t move from my seat. “Oh my gosh!! She’s coming to get us!!” and they shot off to evade me. Shortly, I heard my nephew say, “Come get us! We’re hiding—in [girl]‘s room!” His voice full of exhilarating anticipation and delight. I was almost compelled to go in—almost.

They challenge me to release my inner child and play. I try to accommodate that as much as I can muster. They take all the energy I’m willing and able to expend on them. Their raw delight in experiencing everything is joyous and consuming to watch. And somehow it gives something back to me—it’s rejuvenating.

i’m so grateful i was ready and open

Having said all that, I will say they can be little terrors, tag team artisans. When they are, I have to work quickly to get them to see how and why a behavior has to stop. My efforts are to seize the teachable moments in play and discipline. And it’s been a pleasure. In fact, my times with them make for great writing fodder. I have at least one poem related to these two little ones. They are good for pictures too.

off to a rocky start

Last night, my computer was still quite wonky. I decided to reboot the modem since I’d done the virus scanning and defragging. But I had to wait until today because my eyelids were too heavy to press through the short steps. This morning, things were still bad online, so I called in and the recording said the same thing I thought they would, Try disconnecting the modem and the other related steps before I connect you with a human being. I knew that so I can’t tell you why I called first. It might be related to another issue of not trusting what I think I know—a separate issue.

Anyway, I did the technical stuff, it worked and I didn’t have to call back because the recording wasn’t expecting me to, unless I needed assistance. With my IT concerns squared away, I was able to get on with surfing the web reading and networking.

plans for a hard charging 2011

I’ve been giving myself scary goals for 2011 related to two of my blogs‐not including this one. This one is still just for me to air out my brain and write through things that are on my mind.

For my working blog and my creative writing blog, I’ve decided to write more frequently. It should be interesting. Hopefully, it will be productive too, by getting me into the habit of posting more fluidly. Ideally the blogging will become second nature, (by next year if not this), instead of feeling like this great extra effort I have to make.

my guideline for  current postings

I read in several blogs, most recently from a writer at She Writes, that I should lighten up on the blog posts. Not that I should post less, but that the posts don’t need to be long. The key is to make posts short, focused, and useful. That works in my head, but I wrote for a company that insisted on 1000 to 1500 words for each post.

So now, I fall back into that habit from time to time. Then I get to thinking about how it falls short of being the definitive draft on the topic it covers. Do you see the problem here? I can’t fit the definitive copy on any topic into a blog post and expect people read it. The solution, get light and useful. When I come across the draft topics that seem to keep me writing on and on, then I can break them up into a collection of posts. Something I’ve done rarely.

Blogs that are written to a theme should contain posts related to that theme. I’ve decided that I can go off on a tangent, but not to far off. I don’t want to blog about nuclear physics without tying it in to writing, when I’m working on my freelance copywriting blog. When I do tangent (and I will tangent), I hope to have one of those really sweet tie-ins that will leave people saying a hearty NICE! I’d be alright with that.

musings for the rest

Telling Stories, my creative writing blog, is also a focused blog. My focus there is exploring and sharing my creative interests covering poetry, fiction and whatever else comes to mind…related to creative writing.

You’re likely saying, Well, what about creative non-fiction? And that’s a really good question, but it doesn’t stump me. It can go on that site as well—because it’s creative. See? There is room for creative non-fiction on all my blogs, since all writing is creative even if you do it halfway right. For example, my last post here, could have gone on the Telling Stories site, easily. I was on this blog when I started writing it and just stuck with it.

Really, for that post, I would say the determining factor was that it was just my musing over the events of last Saturday. Had I planned to write it, I might have put it on the other blog. The lines do blur between the blogs, from time to time. It has become the place I put random thoughts, ideas, and experiences that often times relate to life writing.

My purpose was just to write through what happened on January 8th and find my footing after I sat reeling from the news. There’s more that came to mind, but that post was enough to get me clearer on where I wanted to go with that topic. As a result of just writing through what was on my mind, I have come up with several writing topics I can cover tangentially.

Now I have this guide to get through the next few weeks of writing on my other two blogs. When I take a step back to review how it’s coming along, in 111 days from 1.1.11, I’ll let you know. That many days because, while the copywriting blog challenge ends this month, the creative writing blog challenge is for 111 days. And I decided to wait until then to review both.

This is only the tip of my iceberg, and more than enough to chip away at this evening, what with more writing to do and all.

My heart is heavy today. My view of some of my countrymen diminished. My hopes for my people strained. Words matter. Words are heavy with power and we can sling them effortlessly flinging our fury out into the world for any to hear, draw from, interpret. And when these words inspire actions deemed horrific and cause children to die, we defend and justify.

• The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.
• I didn’t do anything. I just said…
• It’s not my fault if he went and acted on what I said.
• That’s not what I meant at all.
• It was never my intention to…

Remember The Ghostbusters and the slime under the city? The airwaves, radio, television, internet, have been infested by a virtual River of Slime. It is composed of rampant hatred, intolerance, violence, ignorance, half-truths, all the homicidal ideation, messages of malicious malcontent, the slings and arrows from sad and empty vessels whose walls are lined with mean-spiritedness.

Young people are left to their own devices to sift through this mess of mixed messages to love thy neighbor—except in the instances of… If you don’t agree with someone, harass terrorize discriminate mistreat and ostracize until you change them or silence them, by any means necessary. The problem we’re faced with today is that we have many citizens without the tools to properly sift through the mess of rhetoric to adequately assess and distinguish fodder from fallacy.

If ever there was a sad day when the chickens had come home to roost, that day was yesterday. If ever there was an action that called on violent hate-mongers to stand accountable for the true weight of their words that day was yesterday. That day will live on in infamy, as does the last day for which that statement was first used, the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Since the time of cave men, with the advances in speech, communication and technology, we have learned what? Today we fight, steal, kill, berate, browbeat, threaten, incite, piss, moan and whine to get what we want, by any means necessary. Malcom X came to understand that there were other ways to reach people. Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that there were peaceful ways to reach people. Today with all the advances we have made, we are more bullying, selfish, self-indulgent, unfair, unreasonable, shortsighted, narrow- to closed-minded than in any time. The reason it’s worse now is because we have less of a reason to be so than in any time in history.

The end-game of Adolph Hitler was to annihilate one group of people he decided to blame for the ills of the country. The national movement that was the underpinnings of the Third Reich started with the quiet rationalized machinations, the words of a madman, one man. And today we have so many more than just the one.

Hitler made a calculated business move to save his country and to advance his own agenda based on his personal demons. His decision was to murder an entire segment of his population, most chosen by their ethnicity. For people who disagree with Sara Palin, her idea is to target them, reload, take aim—but she didn’t mean anything literal by all that.

One day, at some time in the life of our planet, there may develop a planet-wide community of people who choose to be accountable for their thoughts words and actions, who choose to think globally, advance people of all backgrounds, accept what is counter to their beliefs and work sanely through any disagreements. This planet may one day be inhabited by a full populace whose innate rule is to first do no harm, where would-be criminals, capable of choice, would recognize that the world is not present to indulge their personal selfish proclivities. That world that was once described as nothing to kill or die for in John Lennon’s Imagine. With the January 8, 2011 murders of six people including 9 year old Christina Taylor Green by a 22 year old male, I am convinced that none of us will see this world come to be.

Bigotry, racism, hatred, violence is part learned and part genetic and does not bleed out with a generation, or five, and rules to say stop it. So, we continue. Finding the best place to stand, as much as possible out of the way of the fallout from all the hateful rhetoric. We protect the children all we can from the bullies the assailants the murderers, from the children whose parents teach them to hate, to fight, to take up arms before anything, to protect their right to be intolerant. And we remain divided in hopes of keeping ourselves and our families safe.

My heart is heavy today with the weight of words, feelings, sentiment, rhetoric, lies, invocations of past assassinations, cartoons, slanders, slights, crushing blows to the civilized fabric of my country. My fear of the mean, violent, hateful people is not going to disappear by getting the good night’s rest I didn’t get last night. Because tomorrow, the haters will be here, too. Hating everything not in line with their beliefs, appearances, demeanor. Without saying it directly, these hate-filled public figures are asking for civil war, by encouraging violent insurrection, and they will lie to inflame their followers, to sway the undecided, to cull the weak from the masses, to fight for their nefarious agenda, and will let them die for the cause they know is a big lie.

Yesterday’s shooter was one gunman. But how many others are steeping in the hate-filled, violent heated waters of this country’s loudest propagandists? How many more are poised to act on confused, misleading, violent rhetoric touted by the cruel, ill-informed, intolerant, self-centered speakers in the media today? How long will it be before all people understand that leaders who ask you to take up arms against your neighbor are everyone’s enemies? When will the voices easiest to hear be the voices of reason, rationality, fairness, justice, and tolerant open-mindedness?

I was born a citizen of the United States of America. I have long understood that we the people have certain unalienable rights to life liberty and pursuit of happiness. But I never for once thought that my freedoms could override someone else’s freedoms and vice versa. I’m free to be rich, but not by stealing from others. I’m free to live where I please, but not by forcibly throwing others out of the place where I wish to dwell. And regularly I am surprised and befuddled by people who don’t care to respect other’s freedoms.

Today I am confused, left searching to find my footing after yesterday’s horror. Today, I’m wondering how we move forward with the same spirit of hatred and intolerance in schools in communities in congress. How do we move forward with the voices on the radios and television falling on the wrong ears? I’m for freedom of speech. I agree that we all have rights to our opinions and beliefs and feelings. But I’m not worried about me. I don’t give audience to Beck, Engle, Palin, Limbaugh, and the rest of the mongrel sensationalist blowhards. What I worry about is the weak-minded citizenry, those who are swayed to listen to this sputum and ingest it as fuel to act to murder one day. Today I wonder how we move forward aware of just how horrific words can be in the hands of irresponsible people with podiums.

Former Houston mayor Bill White posted on Facebook about some questionable dealings of the current governor, Rick Perry. Bill White supporters were commenting on the subject in his comment stream. What I caught my attention were the mean, hate-filled commenters who took the time, made the effort to show their contempt on White’s Facebook stream. One said get over it you lost. But it wasn’t about winning for winning’s sake for Bill White. He wanted to win because he gives a damn about the state. So, he still does something to keep us informed.

One said I didn’t vote for Perry and I sure as hell didn’t vote for you. Seriously. That person got on to write that. More was said, but after that opening, nothing else they wrote was worth anything to me. It’s sad when you can’t voice your opinion own your own platform without hearing from people who just come looking for fights, to be mean and cruel. (When you read ‘mean’ read it with the force of any other four-letter word you might hostilely spit out.)

Today, I am weary of the world I live in. In the twenty-first century, we still find it necessary to kill people who disagree with us on foreign and domestic soil. We still find it necessary to rail against vile radio and TV commentary instead of just changing the station. We still find it acceptable to accept bullies (the terrorists of tomorrow) and rationalize their actions as pranks. Today I accept that in my lifetime, we will not learn from the damages of these behaviors and act to never repeat them again. I accept that the greedy blind self-absorbed people, having achieved any measure of power, will never care enough about others to do better of their own volition.

This country is tearing itself apart because old machines are viciously fighting off the call to embrace true social progress, and to behave better toward the very people who keep them in business.

I support my President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. I support a veteran citizen’s right, (any citizen’s right) to erect a free-standing flagpole and hoist the American flag. I support the recitation of the pledge of allegiance in class and the right to pray continually if that is your belief. I don’t mean to ever force you to pray. And I damned sure don’t want you to stop me. This country has rules and no common sense in too many instances for me not to worry today.

Sadly, I believe it will be business as usual for the hate-mongers of today. I think the inflammatory speech will continue until more die. Or until those who embrace and espouse hatred are themselves targeted. One writer called it awesome stupidity to ask politicians to temper their inflammatory speech in the wake of the assault and murders committed yesterday by the confused 22 year old. What else is there to say?

I will ask this: If the way you choose to say a thing doesn’t matter, then what is the harm of saying it a different way? If your message widely misinterpreted and you don’t care to be clear, then why are you saying it at all?

So, Christmas day is put to rest well. I have fond memories of fun times with my family and good visits with friends and family on Facebook. It was fun watching the children play, and watching the family interact with the kids. The food, as always, was great: the turkey, honey-baked ham, spinach and artichoke dip, baked macaroni and cheese, selections of oyster and plain dressing. The fruit punch was a taste sensation, with bubbles and everything that tickled my tongue.

Engaging conversations with adults and children was another highlight. The kids are so bright, so funny, they entertain me with their innocent wit. Their joyful charm shook their entire bodies. The sister and brother, two years apart, are partners in mischief and merriment that makes my heart glad to watch. It was a pleasure to be present with everyone.

The fact that my throat was still a little achy was not a big deal. I didn’t have to talk much to engage, to participate with my family. So I didn’t, managing enough to converse and say thanks for everything, with a little extra in between.

the day after

My throat still ached and felt a little too warm on the inside, and a little bit like I slept on it wrong. So I’m spending my day after Christmas, still waiting on my recovery. I have my Christmas music and my CDs to entertain me and the great memories to keep me company.

If I did talk too much yesterday, I’ve more than made up for it today. I’ve had two phone conversations. On of which was about three seconds; my friend called, on her way off to work, to tell me that The Sound of Music was airing in her area. She thought it might be airing here too. I told her thanks but it was okay if not since I own the DVD. (My friends no me so well.)

My biggest drawback today is my diminished appetite. Eating is not nearly as fun when you’re only doing it because you have to. But I’m managing because I need to fuel to fight my bug. I just have one more meal to swallow today.

I didn’t even make my favorite hot chocolate recipe today. Definitely I’ll have some tomorrow. No sense letting cozy 45 degree wether go to waste. I’m staying warm and quiet in hopes of speaking easily and pain free soon.

communicating in the 21st century

It’s been a pleasure to be able to communicate with family and friends on Facebook and Google Talk. Without these venues, I would be forced to strain my throat or just not share with others. So, I’m quite grateful for these tools. I don’t feel nearly so isolated as I would without them. I’m able to have real-time conversations, not emailing back and forth, without uttering a sound.

It intrigues me how much more it engages me when I write to people. Likely, this is because I don’t have physical motions (hand gestures, facial expressions) and voice inflections to fall back on to carry the other half of the conversations that we have in person. Picking my words becomes infinitely more important when it is in print that I share them. It’s a fun adventure.

Sometimes, when I write on the fly, I’ll put something out and regret it shortly after in release it. Friends are forgiving. But, I still work at being concise. After all, what’s the point of writing if you don’t care about being understood. Besides, it’s good practice for business writing.