It’s been a long time since I let myself off the hook so early for NaNoWriMo. But this year, at the last minute, I made up my mind to let it go before I even got started.

It’s not that it’s not fun. I still enjoy challenging myself. This year, though, is a little different because I know that I don’t have the time to put into it. And I have no interest in hurting myself to make it happen.

1. I have a lot to learn on my day job. I will allow that to distract me at home, in the form of reviewing my day’s activities.
2. There is new software I want to master on my afternoon job also. I only give myself the month of December to start and master it for proficient use in January.
3. Planning for the children (afternoon gig) is a time-consuming pleasure.
4. Extra jobs will take my free time so that I can get ahead with the software purchases I need to make in the near future.
5. My volunteer obligations take up a lot of time and that is fine for now, as I get them in order.
6. Family and friends are in the front of my thoughts right now; there are things I want to do for and with them and that is a juggling act.
7. The new story will keep until I get to it. In the meantime, I am making notes as things hit me.
8. I have two stories that I want to finish (didn’t get to them) and they are fresh and clear in my head — except for the endings.
9. While I’m not writing a poem a day, I will be posting more of what I’ve written because that’s where my heart beats.
10. For the first time, I am perfectly content to not try to push for this — maybe next year

These are the things I gave myself to as I tried to decide whether or not to participate in NaNoWriMo. I read my journal and saw that I was focused on everything but my outline for the story, even though I did throw one together. And, although I wrote it last, I think the biggest thing to seal my decision is the fact that I am content in my spirit with the choice I have made.

I call this a list of excuses because they’re not enough to keep me from participating in NaNo this year. If I wanted to push myself to at least try, I could. I could add to my sleepless evenings and jam-packed weekends, put off friends and family, missing events. I could curb the volunteering. And this is my time of self-indulgent behavior.