Recently, I had the opportunity to review my ability to persevere. I came through fairly unshaken, though not perfect. And fortunately for me, I’m not overly concerned about perfection more than doing my best.
I have to move and I’m not ready to move. It’s been thrust upon me to make this happen even though I’m not ready, financially or otherwise.
Having just started my certification training, I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to focus. But that wasn’t really the problem. I love the training so I will find the focus. I thought about the money, but that’s only part of the problem, and one that I’m working on daily.
The biggest problem I had was fretting and not being able to sleep. An unrested mind is bereft of good ideas, to say nothing of optimal daily functioning. So today, I slept for many hours. It wasn’t so much an effort to catch up as it was an attempt to relieve my stress headache. It had been around for the past week and today it was making my eyes close because the pressure was so bad.
why i get rest now
Since I’m new to the waters of professional freelancing, I don’t have my sea legs yet. To secure some measure of regular income while I’m studying, I signed up and was accepted to write for Demand Studios. It’s not a lot of money, but I have a measure of control over how often I get paid. That relieves some lot of pressure for me, and that’s important.
And, I recently got good feedback from reliable resources that I have a good chance at securing some more lucrative alternate income streams. I’ve already dispatched my information to several new potential sources.
going through the motions
Life is a roller-coaster ride sometimes. Lately it seems that the controls broken off.
Going through the motions of life helps tremendously. It’s important to keep doing things I’m expected to do because even a small measure of normalcy helps to feel grounded and in control.
Sometimes I want to just curl up in a ball and hide. Or, I just want to stay in bed all day, lost in useless TV that I can’t even pay attention to. Attending the family functions, meeting what obligations I’m able to, helps me to make my way through the fog of frustration, stress, and exhaustion.
It sounds odd, but I venture it has to do with us being naturally social creatures. Isolation under negative circumstances has a way of exacerbating difficult situations. It’s like hearing booming echoing voices in an empty chamber that’s supposed to be filled with people, life, ideas, events and experiences.
Sleep deprivation is not the best way to handle stress. Times when sleep wouldn’t come easily, I would just stay awake and do things to be productive. Sometimes I get a lot done in these times. But, I still didn’t have the sleep I needed. The only thing is, as sure as I give in to sleepless nights, I know that after a few days, I will crash. And that’s a painful exhaustion.
It has worked for me in the past, to just lay in bed waiting for sleep to come. However, when things are really stressful, I rationalize that if I stay awake to do a little more (really to fret a little more) then it will help. It usually doesn’t. It’s possible to work things out even living in a fog. But when you’re clear-headed and rested, it’s empowering to understand how much better you really are.
I had to take this route to get to where I needed to be. And I am grateful that I was able to travel my journey, ups and downs, to get this far. I can see better times just ahead.
How’s your journey going?
